The Power of forgiveness in getting over betrayal.

Forgiving someone that has wronged you can be extremely difficult. However there are rewards for those who learn to forgive

Many of us have been or may well be hurt at some point in our lives. In todays world nobody is perfect and it is very rare for someone to go through life not having felt the deep pain of being wronged. From something as hurtful as a marriage breakdown, to not getting an invite to the party of the year, these feelings are now part of our everyday lives.

Dealing with hurt

Each time we are hurt we are faced with the question of what do we do with the hurt, how to we process it and how will it affect our lives in the future. When it comes to forgiving and understanding its power and importance perhaps it easier to look at what it is not to forgive, than it is to be forgiving.

What happens when we don’t forgive?

The main reason we choose not to forgive somone is that it is somehow construed as a let off. There are many hideous crimes going on in the world and how could we possibly forgive them? However we do not really understand what we are doing when we forgive. Thoughts and feelings are left behind and the choices we make can directly affect which of these feelings we keep in our minds.

The dangers of not letting go of the past.

By not letting go of the past you could be holding on to a whole host of detrimental feelings such as anger, resentment and betrayal. These will not change what has already happened and by not letting go of them or forgiving, these can actually lead to an even unhappier life ahead.

A True Story.

A very kind-hearted client of mine told me how she dealt with her husband of 30 years leaving her for a younger woman. She didn’t try to punish him or make his life misery but instead whole heartedly and genuinely tol him that she wished him happiness. Now this was not done for his sake but for her own self preservation. She was so emotionally intelligent that she knew that is she held on to feelings of anger and resentment then she would have a life of misery and a bitter heart. So by forgiving, she was able to avoid years of unhappiness and start on the road to a new happier life.

Knowing what we do to others.

When we forgive we are also taking into account that we too may have hurt someone perhaps unknowingly as well. Although your partner may have betrayed you, im sure if you look back through your life you will have also hurt somone or let them down in some way. Nobody is indeed perfect, everybody has their faults and so by forgiving others you are also getting the chance to forgive yourself. As usually what we condemn or judge about others will actually mirror how we judge ourselves.

The power of an open heart

There can be no mistaking the tremendous amount of will it takes to forgive. But it is far better to use your energy this way than to be feeling bitter and angry. These fellings will leave you with nothing. The most important thing when faced with pain and hurt is to reach out from your heart and grasp the liberating power that forgiveness will bring and your mind body and spirit will be free to live a new life.